Our Story

Trevor & Theresa Unrau

We are sure that after reading the story of our daughter, you are probably asking yourself, "Why did they decide to go ahead with a pregnancy they knew would likely end this way?" We invite you to continue reading and learn about us and why we decided not to terminate the pregnancy. If you have not read Faith's story, please click here.

Theresa

From a child, I always knew that someday I wanted to be a mother. I loved the idea that I could carry a life inside of me and bring a child into the world. I became a Christian at the age of 8, and was raised in a loving, Christian home. I was taught, both at home and at church, that ALL life was God given and no one had the right to take a life. Even though I didn't know it at the time, my belief was to be tested. Would I trust God or do what was "convenient" and "easy"?

Trevor

I, too, was raised in a loving Christian home, and became a Christian at an early age. I had always imagined I would be married one day, but never thought much of being a father. The first two times Theresa was pregnant, I took the news in stride, and when these pregnancies ended in miscarriage, I was disappointed but not as heartbroken as Theresa was. It was when we started to witness Faith's growth through several ultrasounds that the reality of parenthood started to affect me, and I found myself getting excited. The shock of the news of Faith's problems after one of the ultrasounds was one I'll never forget, but when a choice was offered to determine Faith's future, the decision was an easy one. God had given us a life to care for, even if it was for a short while, and it was not up to us to decide to end that life. Later decisions were not always so easy, but the Lord has given me a peace about every choice we've made. God does answer prayer, all you have to do is trust Him.

Together

We met each other at a Christian campground. Neither of us had wanted to be there that weekend; but, looking back, we know that God wanted us there. We met on July 1, 1989. Our relationship grew over a 4 year period before we decided to get married. Our love for each other was not a sudden "burst of light". Nor did we "fall" in love. It was a natural progression of our mutual desire to serve God, our wonderful friendship, and the mutual desire to one day have a family of our own.

We were married on October 1, 1994. The beginning of our life together. Married life was not all "rainbows & sunshine". We definitely had our ups and downs; but, nothing compared to what we were about to face when we decided to start our family.

We knew that we were not going to "try" and have a child. We were willing to let "nature" take it's course. To us, this means allowing things to happen in God's timing. In October of 1998, we found out that we were pregnant. We were both very excited. We never thought that anything would happen to stop our dream dead in it's tracks. In late November, we discovered, to our dismay, that our child had no heart beat and we were soon to miscarry. We were disappointed, but we weren't going to let it get in our way of having a child. So, when in March of 1999 we found we were expecting again, we were quite happy. But, it was a cautious feeling of joy. We knew that we needed to get past the first 12 weeks before we could breathe easy. Well, in April of that same year, we once again suffered the sorrow of miscarrying. This time, we were starting to feel discouraged. We wondered why this was happening to us.

In June of 1999, we were told that, once again, we were expecting. This time, we asked our church and our families to start praying. We were asking God to please allow us to make it past the first 12 weeks. When our prayer was answered, we were overjoyed. This time it looked like our dream was about to come true. We were going to have a baby!

Well, by now you have read the story of Faith Anne, and the problems that she had. Why did we decide not to terminate? Well, for us the answer was simple. The Bible tells us that "Thou shalt not kill". We are also told in Psalm 139:13-14a,15-16 "For you have formed my inward parts; you covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise you , for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them." This passage tells us that God knew Faith Anne even before we did. He knew what she would look like, when she would be born. And, yes, He even knew that she was going to have several complications and would not live. God did not CAUSE this to happen; but, He ALLOWED it to occur. We don't claim to understand why He did not choose to heal her and allow her to live. We only know that He has a purpose and a plan that we do not understand. We trust that He will, maybe not tell us WHY, but HOW this will work for our best and His glory.

We named our daughter Faith because we have a faith in God that can never be broken. That is not to say that it never bends or wavers. We only trust that what God says in His word is true. Romans 8:28 tells us, "And we know that ALL things work together for good, to those who love God, to those who are the called according to HIS purpose." It doesn't say that all things will come up roses. He only tells us that everything He allows is for our good.

Our marriage has only grown and become stronger through this difficult time. We have learned how to depend more on God. Our prayer life, together, has become stronger. This was a definite test of our trust and faith in God. He was the only one that we could go to in this situation. There was no one else strong enough to carry the burden. We learned to give it over to Him on a daily basis. We came to understand the meaning of , "Casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (I Peter 5:7).

We found a great little saying and would like to share it with you:

"We never cry out to
God and receive a
returned check
stamped "Insufficient
Grace"

How very true we discovered this to be. God will ALWAYS give us what we need to get through ANYTHING that we may have to face! I Corinthians 12:9 tells us, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." We believe that the power of God truly shines forth in our lives when we are at the ropes end. When we are facing the hard things in life, this is when God can truly show us His power. It is in the valleys of life that we learn to trust Him and to pray. It makes the mountaintops that much more special!

We pray that you now have a small understanding of our faith in God and why we decided not to end the pregnancy when given the choice. Faith Anne was a precious gift that we were given, even if only for the short time we got to be with her. We know that one day, we will see her again in heaven. We look forward to that day with great anticipation!

2 Corinthians 1:3-4

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God."

The above passage gives the reason why we designed this site. It also gives us a purpose: to use Faith Anne's death as a means of helping others who are struggling with something in their life. Whether it be the loss of a child, or whatever they may be facing that seems too much to carry on their own.

There's a baby girl in Jesus' arms today.

And lots of other children gathered 'round to see.

She's so peaceful and content in His embrace

And His love and understanding shine forth from His face

Assuring us, reminding us of His awesome love and grace.

Jesus loves our children more than we do

Even though it's hard to comprehend.

Before there was time, He knew them one by one

And the plans He has for them are His own.

We are His stewards, but the children are His own.

Jesus looks into the hearts of those--

Who were so well-prepared to love and care for her.

And His peace to them He gives an extra share

And reminds us that He knows the pain and grief that they must bear.

But as we call on Him in His faithfulness, He is always there.

Jesus loves our children more than we do

Even though it's hard to comprehend.

Before there was time, He knew them one by one

And the plans He has for them are His own.

We are His stewards, but the children are His own.

Written by Clynt Taylor

Reprinted with permission by M.E.N.D as found in the Nov./Dec. 1996 issue.